spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
