I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
