i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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