do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
