fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
