if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The struggles of a small town man whore
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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