Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
