I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
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I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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