if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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