Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
