Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize