So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
