So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
