Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
