your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
