The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
