After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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