I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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