im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
