im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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