Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
