I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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