I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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