I didn't shave. On purpose
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
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'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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