WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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