She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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