do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
