Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
