I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
