The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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