Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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