If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
