careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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