he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
