Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
