The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
