if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
