Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
