well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
