I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
