as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
there's paper in my vomit.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
