Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
