Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
