we have pet lesbian snakes
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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