Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.