I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair