He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.