i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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