I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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