stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
