Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
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you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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