i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
NoShamevember. You game?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
