not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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