I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
