She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
