I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
