You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
