Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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