He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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