Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
