dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
