his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
