omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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