Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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