what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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