Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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